The UK Needs to Teach The Skills We Need

I have got to admit that I was shaken, if not quite stirred, by the revelation that Dr Susan Swings, the steely temptress of City investment bank Floggit Burnhem might entertain feelings for Professor Roundabout. What could she possibly see in the bearded beanpole of Oakthorpe University? I was in the kitchen, musing upon this unexpected turn of events, when the phone rang from, I noticed, a mobile phone.

To my surprise, the voice on the other end belonged to the Professor.

‘My god, it’s you!’ I said with a start.

‘Bulford,’ said the Professor. ‘I know you’ve always looked up to me but don’t you think that is going a bit too far? Anyway, I always thought that the stock market was your god.’

‘Well, it isn’t.’ I said, testily. ‘I have two gods - golf and Bristol Rovers, if you must know. Anyway what are you doing ringing me from a mobile phone? I thought that modern technology was beyond you.’

‘It’s not actually mine,’ said the Professor, and paused for effect. ‘It belongs to my girlfriend. It’s Sue’s.’

So it had happened.

‘Sue?’ I repeated slowly.

‘Yes, Sue,’ he said, rather smugly I thought. ‘Don’t sound so surprised.’

‘Well,’ I began, ‘it’s just that I never suspected... you know, I never thought that you...’

‘Oh really!’ interrupted the Professor. ‘I suppose you have been watching Brideshead Revisited. It’s not the 1930s any more. We’re not all queer.’

‘If you say so,’ I replied. ‘Anyway, to what do I owe this call so cleverly and unexpectedly transmitted by you on your girlfriend’s mobile phone?’

‘Well, you call yourself a journalist, don’t you?’ he replied. ‘So why don’t you try to write something sensible about immigration?’

‘I have.’ I said acidly. ‘More than once.’

‘Well it can’t have appeared in The Times,’ said Roundabout. ‘Or else I might possibly have read it. But look,’ he continued, ‘the subject of immigration has reared its head again this week. A government minister is in trouble for saying that the population of this country should be capped at seventy million.’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘And I notice that he had a custard pie thrown at him when addressing a University audience. A bit childish, don’t you think?’

‘That was Manchester University’, retorted the Professor. ‘I hope you are not implying that such a thing could happen at Oakthorpe?’

‘I am sure I wouldn’t know.’

The UK needs to teach the skills we need

‘Anyway, my point is this,’ continued the Professor. ‘There is no magic number that is the right level for the population of this country, at least so far as the economy is concerned. I am tired of hearing people trying to justify immigration on the grounds that we need to import certain skills - nurses for example. I mean, back in the industrial revolution, when this country had the most powerful economy in the world we never needed immigrant labour!’

‘We didn’t have a health service, either.’ I pointed out. ‘And anyway, I am not sure that I agree with you. I speak to business people every week in industries like electronics and IT and they all tell me that there is a skills shortage in this country. The trouble is,’ - I spotted the chance to needle the Professor - ‘that you and your universities offer ridiculous courses in things like Contemporary Circus, Beauty and Therapy and Madonna Studies. If this country’s academic institutions turned out well educated young people with the skills that we actually require, then there would be no need to import them.’

‘Possibly there is something in what you say,’ conceded the Professor. ‘But my central point is this. You cannot design an economy and then work out how you are going to fill all the jobs that are deemed necessary. An economy has to evolve from the bottom up. Whether the population is ten million, fifty million or one hundred million what should be done is to give people an education, give them a real incentive to work and then let the mechanism of the market decide which jobs are worth doing.’

‘Oh I see,’ I said, ‘So we will end up with even more bankers. After all they are educated and incentivized by huge salaries and bonuses. And your friend, the market, has decreed that we need them.’

The market is doing its job

‘Well you hardly need to worry about that any more,’ said the Professor. ‘Because the market is now seeing to it that the number of bankers is being reduced. It is overdue, of course. But now the market is cutting the price of bankers. Fewer graduates will be attracted into the industry and all those fat bonuses and seven figure salaries will become a thing of the past. As usual the market is doing its job. Labour will be redeployed to areas where it is more urgently needed. We don’t need immigrants to fill the gaps. And anyway, I don’t see what they add to our economy or to our society.’

‘Well it is easy for you academics to be dispassionate about these things.’ I responded. ‘But even bankers can suffer. And that might even include Sue Swings. I am surprised that you are not a bit more sympathetic towards your new girlfriend.’

‘My new girlfriend?’ exclaimed Professor Roundabout. ‘Whatever gave you that idea? My girlfriend is Soo Ching Lim. Her family emigrated from Saigon ten years ago. They run a terrific Vietnamese restaurant here. They all work terribly hard and frankly a dish of rice noodles makes a nice change from the college dining room. You should try it one day...’

I hope that you are enjoying hearing from my friends, Dr Swings and Professor Roundabout - they’ll be back next Monday.

Please - don’t miss out on this. You have four days to act...

Meantime, I hope you had a chance to read the urgent report I sent you on Friday - "Tomorrow’s giants selling for pennies..?" was the subject of the email.

Time is running out if you want in on this one. I really believe that 31 October is when this incredible company could reveal some major news that could send its share price soaring. That gives you just over four days to get in to take maximum advantage.

Forget about the wider markets. Yes they are going down. But some shares are defying that - and I reckon this could be a MAJOR winner. You should at least have a look at the idea.

If I’m right about this company, it could help you make 400% over the next year - and I reckon the big part could come early from the news that could break in four days’ time.

Quick - have a read of my idea here. It will take you a few minutes and you’ll soon see the scale of this opportunity - and why I believe this could be the ultimate credit crunch bargain share.

Bye for now.

Tom Bulford
for The Penny Sleuth

P.S. If you want to follow the tales of a small company investor, and uncover the hidden gems of the stock market, then sign up for the Penny Sleuth e-letter. It won’t cost you a penny…

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The UK Needs to Teach The Skills We Need

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